One of the most difficult decisions a family will ever face is deciding to put one or both of their parents into memory care. This is an incredibly emotional experience if your loved one is against moving and wants to remain in their own home. Very often, an older adult is not aware of their own cognitive impairment or the danger they face if they continue to live on their own. In those cases, it is up to the family to decide on their behalf. This choice is often accompanied by guilt, shame, or embarrassment, as the family may feel they should be able to care for their loved one. However, caregiving at home is not always possible, and moving to a memory care center may be the best solution.
Because a dementia patient is already prone to feeling confused, disoriented, or even angry, preparing to move into a new living situation should be approached with care and planning. There is no guidance as to the “best” time to move your parent, as every family and individual is different. Some families want to start the process early so that the patient can participate in decisions, and others may choose to provide necessary care on their own until their parent’s needs get too challenging at home.
Moving a parent can increase their level of confusion and disorientation as they lose their familiar environment. Transfer trauma, the stress a dementia patient can experience when moving into a new living situation is typically temporary – but could pose an emotional risk if not considered.
Helping Your Parent Through the Moving Process
Memory care facilities are designed for senior adults with dementia, providing specially trained staff and offering more specialized care. Although often associated with an assisted living center, memory care exceeds assistance for basic needs, personalizing the patient’s care to focus on mental stimulation, engagement, and fulfillment. Family members who are no longer caregivers can reconnect with their parents as their children – a role they are familiar with.
Those with dementia struggle most with their short-term memory but typically retain their long-term, enduring memories. Families can help calm their parents by reminiscing with them about cherished memories and bringing elements of those memories into their new home. For instance, you may have their favorite songs playing in the new room, use a diffuser to create a familiar aroma, and surround them with photographs and mementos of times they remember. You should observe them at home and take note of anything they keep with them to bring them comfort and familiarity – a favorite blanket, their family Bible or a particular sweater. Whatever they seem connected to should accompany them to their new living situation. Although downsizing is necessary, try to bring any furniture with meaning and connection, such as an easy chair they use daily.
Once our parent is moved, visiting frequently and talking about their most cherished memories is the best way to help them cope with the change in their environment. Be sure to ask the staff to be your eyes and ears, and inform you about any comments or actions that may be of help or concern.
My Care Finders Can Help
At My Care Finders, we understand that these decisions – from the choice to move to selecting the suitable facility – can seem overwhelming, and we are here to help. Our service is FREE to
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